People Say

So many people say to me, “I wouldn’t go to that country. It’s a war zone.”

The same response always pops into my mind, “I wouldn’t adopt twins with health problems. I wouldn’t become a pastor. I wouldn’t marry at the age of 18.”

You be brave in your way, I will be brave in mine.

Everybody’s fighting something. Some people pick their battles, others cop out.

I love individuals who are a part of something. Who find a role and fill it. Whether in the local pastel society, the garden club, the Democratic Party. People who seek out those of like interests to befriend, and who begin discussions on behalf of their beliefs. These people live. They are not just on this earth,  they are a part of it.

As humans, we were created to believe in things. Opinions, deities, people.

I believe that battles against evil should be waged. Inner peace can be maintained in the face of chaos. I believe that if I don’t go, no one will. If I wait until the war is over, what will have become of my battle? How many more will have died?

May my life be a flagrant testament to certain refusal of bad things everywhere. Happiness will not be mine until the world looks less like Hell and more like Heaven.



All things work by good design for those who would believe…


Anti-abortion/war which proves that he
Values human life
… Wise (he’s certainly been around long enough)
Ignored by politically biased TV networks
Championed by creative, determined Americans
If more people heard and took the time to understand, Ron Paul would have won in 2008.
Google/Youtube “Ron Paul Revolution 2012”
For real.


Strong force.

“Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or…we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, God can give us the perfect way.” -Casper Ten Boom

“Love is larger than the walls that shut it in” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

“Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign…to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.” -Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling)

“That love so deep, so moving

Draws us close to Christ above

Still it keeps us, still it keeps us

Firmly fixed in Christ alone

And the world will sing His love

Yes, the world will sing His love

And we’ll all join hands

Every woman, every man

And sing His love

We’ll sing His love”-Caedmon’s Call

Love changes everything, if we let it. So many of our problems are home-made. If only we would learn how to show love to everyone around us: men, women, children, dreadlocked, tattooed, painted, smiling, frowning…they are all the same in God’s eyes, and imagine the glorious blessing  it would be to perceive the world in the same way that He does.

Love is so strange and beautiful. It is so hard to understand, but inside of us all is the reality that by it (love) we live and breath. It moves mountains, it forgives sins, it breaks hearts, it binds up wounds. It is not just romance, passion. It is a strong force for good. Romantics, stoics, everybody seems to admit that love is a big deal. Like super big.

A Leper at Peace.

On His way to Jerusalem, as Jesus walked through a village, a group of ten lepers spoke to him from a distance. They raised their voices saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” Jesus healed them then and there-all ten of them. One of them, just one, turned around (as the excited men all scattered) and praised God loudly. He kneeled before Jesus and thanked him with strong words.

Jesus’ response to this was to ask, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give thanks to God except this (man)? Rise and go your way, your faith has made you well.”

{Luke 17:11-19, paraphrase}

I want God to heal me. I want my struggle to be over. I want to be able to do all the things that nameless adventurers, heroic sojourners, and my friends  and family do. If only Jesus would reach down His sweet hand and work a miracle on me. I have lifted my voice to Him, as the lepers did, and now I want an answer. More than anything right now, I would love to hear the words: Rise. Your faith has made you well.

Jesus knows this. He knows my pain, He knows far worse. Most importantly, God the three-in-one knows how much I can handle. He has not, and will not desert me. He is as real as the pain that I now feel.

Whatever His plan is; whether I can walk pain-free tomorrow, or never walk again, I want to be the last leper. I want that thankful heart. I must strive to always come back with a grateful soul, pledging life-long service to my gracious Master.

I have handed my dreams, my life, my fears over to Him.

Peace, even in this, is mine.

Could you love this bastard child, though I don’t trust you to provide? -Derek Webb


Sweet girl,

Listen with your heart for a moment. I want you to hear this.
You are beautiful. Look at the face of the water and see! Every inch of you was perfectly crafted. Never listen to others when they talk you down. They say these things because they are afraid. Afraid of your Maker, and of your beauty. So do not entertain the idea that you are a mistake
I want you to know that my heart breaks every time you cry. Your broad, strong face was not meant to bear tears. Your eyes are too perfectly shaped and coloured to be so obscured.
You need to know that you have the potential to do great things if you look not only to yourself, but also to Someone Greater.
The world around you is a cruel one. It will beat upon you, it will be cruel to you, and it will be cruel to the ones you love. Lift up your head and be strong! Smile in the face of those who hate you because your God is the most loving and splendid being of all time. He is angered by their cruelty. He takes pride in that which they berate.
Believe all of this and love and mercy will emanate from you the way light comes forth from the sun. You are a chosen woman, darling child, and nothing will ever change that!




Somewhere there’s a boy. His skin may be white, his skin may be black. He may have a T shirt on, he may be wearing a polo. He may be in the United States, and he may be in Ukraine, Uganda, or Uruguay. He may love the sea, he may fear it.
Wherever this boy is, no matter what he looks like, no matter what he fears, he needs to be told that there is nothing to worry about. He needs to be told that his eyes are the most beautiful when they are free of tears and hatred. This boy needs to know that the bad things his parents are a part of do not make him bad. He needs to be told that no amount of water or soap will wash away the guilt that he feels. He must know that his guilt is built upon an unreliable foundation. He needs to see that his sins can be gone; that they can be wiped away. He needs to know that he can look into the faces of all people, because no one is a better person than him. He needs to know that when he stands up, he does not stand alone. Somehow, the news must reach his ears that everytime he is hit, everytime he is yelled at, someone else is being hit and yelled at too. Other people have felt his pain, and also felt love.
A lifetime of darkness cannot erase the love that waits to shine from within you, Dear Boy. You need to know that love awaits you on the new side of your dark past. No matter what you have done, no matter what has been done to you, Sweet Boy, there is life and light awaiting you. Don’t ever forget that. And don’t ever stop waiting and watching for deliverance, and for your new day. There is hope. Do not give up. The dark will never overcome the light, though it may seem as if all light left your life long ago. Keep believing, Precious Child. You are a member of the kingdom, and you have nothing to fear.


This is from my old blog (

How many need to hear this?

Someone needs to tell them,

To help them.

If I don’t,

If I won’t,

If you say “no”

Who will go?

Who will tell them?

Who will let them know?


Sudden changes of great significance have caught me off guard. I see that I am ready but there are so many things that I don’t want to know or to experience yet. I don’t say this sarcastically, I say it with determination! My heart wants to lead me off, convince me that there is no good, that I am a martyr, a hero in my own story.

Crippled by pain, the world starts to circle me.

My flawed feelings drag me down, I let myself entertain them and I stop feeding the good Spirit within me. The dark portion of my character that everyday fights for control comes to surface. I swirl downward in dismal idolatry.

Then God has mercy on me. He allows me to step back and view myself through a lense of truth. I am saved! Life is not sadness, it is not struggle. Life is thriving amidst chaotic disturbance! Life is falling and getting back up with renewed vigor.

Restore to me sweet fellowship, God.  Let me again be familiar with all the tender beauties of life that I once loved. Open my clouded eyes to the needs around me. Make me ever more aware of my arrogant self-worship.

You are perfect. The people who surround me have needs that surpass my understanding, but never Yours. Use me to fill them up again. Pour Your precious self through Your humble vessel. I am Yours, You have saved me out of Your tenderhearted compassion. Now use me to bring Your story to complete, flawless fruition.



Humbled to the Dust.

Sometimes I entertain arrogance when I think about all the stuff that I don’t buy, or don’t go do. When I think about how my parents live as opposed to so many other church members who do things like drive huge cars for no reason, and live in wealthy neighborhoods. I think I am better for wanting to go to every empoverished nation that I can while they stay at home and fight “lesser” battles. This always-always-yields a face-palm moment. A “Seriously?” moment. I am so wrong. Everyone fights battles, and most are battles that I can’t begin to understand. As for my desire to travel, when I think about it, what am I actually going to give those people? I want to help them, but even more than that I want to see different places. I want to smell different smells, and I want to be free from the shackles of materialism. It’s easier to fight the temptations that I normally struggle with out there. So many things appeal to me out there for no reason other than, they suit me. I embrace the cultural differences. I like the pulsing lifebeat. I enjoy sand and revel in bright sun. It’s my personality and I need to be sure that I am trying to do more than just  feed my desires. See, I am no better than all the people that I so wrongly judge. I do what I can to satiate my desires, and so often leave God as an afterthought while taking credit for going to great lengths to expand His kingdom.

 Time and again He shows me how simple and foolish I am, time and again He shows me His love.

Living Coram Deo


Currently I am writing a paper on modern day slavery (human trafficking). It seems cruel in my overly metaphorical mind to sit here, the sun shining in and try to write something about the plight of women and children living in complete darkness. The sun may be shining where they are, but in darkness they remain. Curled in an alley, expecting nothing but more cruelty, more torture. How can this be? Life is so wonderful for me now. God is answering my prayers one after another while their’s seem to go unheard. I wish I could tell them that He hears, that He knows. I wish I could hand them my Bible and whisper to them the stories of how it has been a light in dark places to people for generations past, myself included. If only they knew, if only the truth would fall on their open ears, into their open hearts.

No complaints from me.

Life is a gift.

Tribulation is a lesson to be learned.

Peace is within the grasp of us all.

Isaiah 6:8