Sometimes I entertain arrogance when I think about all the stuff that I don’t buy, or don’t go do. When I think about how my parents live as opposed to so many other church members who do things like drive huge cars for no reason, and live in wealthy neighborhoods. I think I am better for wanting to go to every empoverished nation that I can while they stay at home and fight “lesser” battles. This always-always-yields a face-palm moment. A “Seriously?” moment. I am so wrong. Everyone fights battles, and most are battles that I can’t begin to understand. As for my desire to travel, when I think about it, what am I actually going to give those people? I want to help them, but even more than that I want to see different places. I want to smell different smells, and I want to be free from the shackles of materialism. It’s easier to fight the temptations that I normally struggle with out there. So many things appeal to me out there for no reason other than, they suit me. I embrace the cultural differences. I like the pulsing lifebeat. I enjoy sand and revel in bright sun. It’s my personality and I need to be sure that I am trying to do more than just feed my desires. See, I am no better than all the people that I so wrongly judge. I do what I can to satiate my desires, and so often leave God as an afterthought while taking credit for going to great lengths to expand His kingdom.
Time and again He shows me how simple and foolish I am, time and again He shows me His love.