There have been times when I have needed guidance, and screamed at God to give it.
There have been times when I have known exactly what I was supposed to do.
Also, there have been times when I have received good counsel and applied it, others when I have thrown it away.
In this short chapter of my life I have heard and received good counsel. I have done all that I know to do. I have gently told God that I am content, but I that I need answers. God knows that (though I have yet to understand the true meaning), my life is an offering to Him that I am ready and willing to pour out on whatever ground He sees fit. I struggle every day. My faith is weak. It is young and passionate yet ever impatient. I want adventure now. I want to run, I want to climb. I want to travel and I want to live for others. I want new, edgy places and experiences. I am a wandering soul. Often this wanderlust overcomes my love for God and I make idols out of the few things that I cannot have. He is merciful. Though my immature and over-anxious heart be goading me towards deep discontentment, His truth holds onto me, and I will not flounder.
He reminds me of how He has cared for me through all my days. He whispers His promises in my ears. All this so that in the moments of His silence, I will know in my heart that He means more to me than any tree I could have climbed, any child I could have fed and any prayer I ever offered.