Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is learn. I am not even at University yet! It has literally been months since my ears have heard the word, “homework,” yet in those months I have gained knowledge in humbling abundance. The most invaluable lesson of all has been the one about thankfulness: shutting down even the smallest of complaints. Complaining tears the world apart, and it rips the wings off our souls.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing. That’s it. For now. Make the most of it. Look away from the could-have-been-s and the “if-onlys,” followed by deep sighs. Get in the habit of thinking about the good and watch as, consequently, the bad takes flight.
For no homework!
For gentle correction,
For time to breath, to think, to create, to meditate.
For projects backed by deep purpose,
For old friends who remember,
For challenge and the purpose it gives me.
For people who get it,
For the challenge of being thankful for loose ends in life.
“…I will let the souls whom you hunt go free, the souls like birds.”~Ezekiel 13:20b
I have broken,
Broken Your commands.
I see it now;
My eyes have been clouded with
And I weep
So dark is my heart.
I am so sorry.
Hear my pleas for mercy once again
And be gracious-
Do not pass me by.
Teach me not to exhaust Your boundless grace.
I love You.
I love You.
Forgive my despicable behaviour.
Make me new
Replace my guilt with boldness,
I am strong and Titan, she said. She looked in the mirror and there was Strength. A girl with no loyalty, only power.
I can do anything. Here is what I can do for You, God. Let’s go!
Then God showed her a bit of Himself…twice. She cried out:
All. All for and to You! Draw me nearer, You are the wind in my chest, the breathe behind my sails.
He stretched out His Heavenly hand and touched her. She believed she was ready to go, sold out for His glory. He knew it wasn’t time yet. She was not broken enough. He weakened her, let her be torn apart-limb from limb, dream from dream. Physically, emotionally, socially, financially: all fell away like sand in an hour-glass. He wanted her to let Him take over in order that she become 100% His servant-slave. But doubts crept into her heart; she looked in the mirror and the demons told her:
Weak. Undesirable. You’ll never be happy, worthless girl.
She believed them for a moment and the pain rolled over her like a cement truck until her Saviour renewed the Divine hope within her soul:
Don’t give up, Beloved. There is so much more to come.
He whispered to her heart:
This too shall pass. Press on. I am a God of miracles.
Life. Real, extraordinary life is around the corner!