Cadillac, Cadillac

There’s a girl inside of me.

She hates this,

And you.

There’s a girl in me who doesn’t want anyone to be happy.  She loves chaos;

And boasting;

And pain.

She wants everyone to be unhappy

Except herself.

She wants to be adored, served.

She doesn’t want to hear you talk,

See you cry.

She hates and hates; is dead inside.

But this girl is on her way out;

Consider a divine eviction notice posted.

Her God is redeeming all that she does wrong because His business is redemption.

Cadillac, Cadillac, business man dressed in slacks.

 

Although she be evil He is able to rescue her and turn,

Ugly to beautiful;

Selfish to servile;

Angry to joyful;

Tired to invigorated!

Revolutions From Dystopia

East, West

Salt, Pepper

Will I succeed, do well?

Shall I excel?

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

And the Wind says, “yes,” while the Waves say, “no.”

There is trees and there’s mountains

I’m going up UP uP Up

A hungry belly, ache behind eyes

Only to fall down DOWN doWn DowN

Clouds in the sky, puffy like pipe-smoke

Thousands of people I see in a day, but don’t talk to; how many of them will show up in my dreams tonight?

My tongue is inside my mouth, I feel it laying there, just as lazy and lethargic as tongues tend to be.

What about the 10 human beings that I did talk to today? Where do they stand in the grand scheme of this? Best friend? Boyfriend? Aunt? Uncle? Benefactor? Person.

Colors: red, orange, yellow, pink, fuschia, green-blue, black.

I know that I’ll belong

An orgasmic cacophony of sights smells boredom;

Being alive.

Goes Without Saying

My eyes are heavy, because there’s no more tears to cry;

Don’t put your business on the street.

Mama sells herself for heroin;

Don’t put your business on the street.

Daddy run off when I was only three. If he is my daddy…

Don’t put your business on the street.

I hate the way it makes me act, but I never want to stop smokin;

Don’t put your business on the street.

That lady ain’t doin no harm to nobody, but I gotta do it anyway because they’ll hurt me if I don’t;

Don’t put your business on the street.

He always comes in at night, I just pretend it doesn’t hurt;

Don’t put your business on the street.

They broke my legs, my trust, my pride,

But I won’t put my business on da street.

They want to help me, but I got self respect so I listen to what my family’s always sayin:

“Don’t put your business on the street.”

 

 

“…given the vocation of service to the Lord…”

Highlights

A menagerie of memories from the 365 days that we labeled, “2012:”

Teaching kids to read.

“God created us because He wanted to love us.”

Finishing the Radical Experiement!

Seeing my favorite band (Page CXVI) in concert.

Highschool graduation!

MEXICO!

“I wonder what homeless people talk about….”

“He does not try to pass the time but sits down and lives.”-Out of Africa, by Isak Dinesen

“And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”-Dumbledore

Anything this side of Hell is pure grace.

“It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.”-Lamentations 3:27

“We could get into trouble,” Isabel.  “That’s how you know it’s an adventure!” Hugo (Hugo, the movie.)

“Quiet your mind, hear what the land has to say,”-Zac Brown

Don’t cry “peace” in the good times only to yell for war when something doesn’t suit you.

It’s not that I am crying,  it’s just that hot tears are falling from my eyes because it hurts so bad.

“…an aesthetic voyager struggling to destroy the beast within,” Chris MccCandless.

NOMADS.

“The compassion we feel when we see the bad things going on in the world is not humanism, it is God’s spirit,” Jamie Zumwalt.

A glowing jellyfish-larva fight on the beach late in the evening.

Bloodshed follows bloodshed.

We cannot take back the way we treat others.

“You are waiting. I am smoking.”-Sherlock Holmes, A Game of Shadows.

I feel the sun. It soaks into my bones. My toes curl with gravel between them. The thoughts in my head are as transparent as the cloudless sky. Wind whips hair sharply around my face. Literal truth: I am on the floor in my bedroom. Soul truth: I am on a great red peak in the midst of a canyon wonderland. Ah, imagination power.

We cannot apply the distraction of politics to our faith.

Watching old friends struggle through ancient issues, and holding them while they cry.

“Let us love our God supremely, let us love each other too…”-George Atkins, “Brethren We Have Met to Worship.”

“I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”-J.D. Salinger

“You’ve got such an old soul to you.”

My prayer is for the people who have decided that death is preferable to life.

“The Christian, when he dies, catches hold of Christ’s garment, and Christ bears him into Heaven,” Charles Spurgeon.

“Sad parting promises fresh adventure.”

Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight, by Alexandra Fuller.

“No Heaven will be so sweet as a Heaven preceded by torments and pains,” Charles Spurgeon.

“All the little man on the witness stand had that made him any better than his nearest neighbours was, that if scrubbed with lye soap, in very hot water, his skin was white,” To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee.

She who loves life can do anything.

I care about you more than I coud ever care about me.

“…that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you, O Lord, are God alone.” 2 Kings 19:19b

“They don’t recognize you asl the adult that you are, but you probably just need to submit right now,” KimT.

“This too shall pass,” the Sadler.

The nearly-tangible blanket of peace that God wrapped around me as I left the children whom I loved with my entire heart to the care of their Jamaican school-teachers and caretakers.

Buying my truck.

“And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh,” John 6:51b

That’s my life; my year. Thanks for reading all the way down! I am being shaped for something big. Odds are you too are being shaped!

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