Ardent Audacity

It’s funny that we tell each other…
And we actually believe…
“I deserve a break,” or
“I’ve earned this vacation.”
I’m entitled to these pancakes soaked in syrup and bananas.
Wrong again;
We give to ourselves the credit due God alone.
We lose track of how merciful He is because we ascribe to ourselves the thanks He alone warrants.

My ingratitude constantly draws a rift between He and I.
I love Him, I do. He knows that I try, and He knows that I often try halfheartedly. He sees me running down rabbit trails of self-pity day following day, yet He blesses me and continues to use me for His purposes.

How big, how great, how perfect He is! I curse Him by ingratitude, and He offers me tangible, over-the-top blessings like a trip to Mexico! (When I said over-the-top, I meant it).
How small, how dependent, how worthless I am in avoidance of Him.
He puts bigness in me.
He makes my dependency feel like freedom.
He opens my eyes to the way things truly are.

All to Him I owe.

I have not earned Him. I have no right to know God. His love is just that: love. There is nothing in this for Him.
He draws me gently, close to Him.
He holds me because He loves me,
Gives me everything and more because that is who He is.
I am angered when He is distant, though I am the one who Has run away.
I ignore His hand even when He is at work directly before me.
My sin overcomes me
And He rushes to my aid.
No longer will darkness capture me,
Even when I foolishly seek it out.
He is my guardian, my flawless companion,
My shalom.
In Him, I am okay.

We are ocean, we are mist
Brilliant fools who ruled and kiss
There’s beauty in the dirt
Wandering in skin and soul
Searching, longing for a whole.~Gungor, I am Mountain

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