Everything I do, I love. Catch me on a Tuesday, I’ll be in the middle of teaching swim lessons and–for the most part–lovin’ it. During the summer, I’m downtown loving to mentor kids and running, wide-eyed & happily ragged at camps for inner-city youth. Find me at the table Wednesday night, studying, and I’ll be obsessing over the beauty of the Spanish language. You’ll hear me nursing the alphabet backwards and forwards, listening to sound clips and laughing when I discover the word pedo. In the mornings during class, I’m adoring my classmates & my school. Sunnyside up? Yes. But I go a step too far, far too often. I smile and praise God for all he has given me. I drive to yoga practice listening to music, full of thanks, happy. And I think, what if I had more? More music? More time for yoga? More money?
In my mind I begin to take inventory and calculate just what (and how much of it) will give me lasting contentment. Suddenly I’m moving like molasses–no longer free but chained. Chained to the idols I’ve made out of blessings. Fearful, grasping to maintain my ideal reality; worshipping the created instead of the Creator ((who I love)). Grasping for creative control instead of joyfully submitting to his–grand, divine, world-wide–will. Obsessed with what makes me feel good. Such a slight turn to what I want instead of what he wants. A Satan slip that turns my heart away from God. A lack of surrender. A lack of dependence. A rebellious, finger in his face, “God, I’ve got this. I’m good without you. This is all I need.” With my heart I’ve declared that the blessings He has given me are what I need instead of his.glorious.self. I’ve switched the search to seeking spiritual sustenance in yoga, in music, in family, and friends, and travels–in the sweet treats of this realm–instead of in his presence.
Here. In the truck. On the yoga mat. In the classroom. His presence is my solitary source of life. Real life. The umbilical cord is prayer. This upward lifting of my carnal eyes are the avenue for transformation I’m responsible for walking through, moment after moment.
He is the only source of life. I forget that, and I plummet. Cling to this Truth, and up I climb, higher & higher into his marvelous light!
“Ah, Lord God! It is you who has made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm!” ~Jeremiah 32:17, ESV
“So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God.” ~Romans 8:6-7, NLT, emphasis mine.
“Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God…For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.”~Hebrews 3:12&14