Day 5

Leave it to me to discover that I need to spend more money while on a fast from, yep, you got it: spending money. It’s not that I’m stingy, or I never give anyone anything. No, I do OK on that I suppose. The problem is that I get so caught up in saving and calculating and earning that I forget to just…chill. And be a fun human being.

Lydia: I want food! (This born out of a twenty minute fantasy about Domino’s gluten free pizza)
Co-worker: Let’s get some when we get off.
Lydia: Dude I can’t afford to eat the food here!
Co-worker: I’ll buy. Really, it’s no big deal.

Yeah that happened tonight. I never would have made the offer that my co-worker made here. Had anyone come to me hungry or looking sick, sure, I’d buy them a meal (AND a soda!!) without hesitation. But short of a good Samaritan situation, nobody is getting overpriced food out of me.
There. My focus is on prices and quantity instead of time. How dare I forget the importance of simply breaking bread with another person. I am so busy thinking about helping people I don’t yet know that I neglect to take a minute and get to know someone whom God has placed in my life. If expensive food is what it takes to tell someone they are important then I should be all in for the pricey eats.

Lessons abound and it’s only day 5. How exciting! Brainstorming to find creative ways to meet and love on people without spending money…or being a complete mooch.

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Ob-la-di

Sweet fellowship of Christian sisters

Prayers offered in sincerity

Brokenness

Tears of resolution

A hand to hold

Even with all these things, life is hard. My life is hard right now. There is no pretending otherwise. It feels like too many issues, too many struggles. I cannot walk. My friend is hurting in unimaginable ways and I would do anything to take her pain on top of my own. A dear friend will be out of reach for the next 8 months. Finances are uncertain. I want to serve, but I cannot.

The list goes on.

The things I listed above are not the answer. The answer is Heaven. The answer is eternal rest in the arms of my sweet Jesus. I am not there yet, so it hurts, and I struggle, but He remains faithful. I am His and He is mine.

But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honored use and another for dishonorable use?” Romans 9:20-21