Surrender Poem

Tears fall

my chest with a knife lodged

my abdomen tied like rope

my shoulder scalpel-ed by every inhale

my feet with naked bone touching ground

all remind me it was born to die,

this natural map, from toe to pony-tailed tendril.

I laugh white teeth with gap in between

because I’m closer to Heaven than ever before.

No spiritual song, no kiss in moonlight,

no day on the lake nor mountaintop moment

offers this free fall forward so explicitly.

In front of my face, inches away,

is a God who says,

“I’ve put your soul into a broken jar.”

All I can do is flatten my feeble frame

against the floor and say, “Thank you.”

This is where I get my faith:

debate between Emergency room or living room.

He waves white flag for me,

ushering me into the abundant existence.

This broken jar is brimming,

to breathe is to be blessed.

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.~Romans 8:23

I’m laying down my sickness and pain for the glory of the Lord~Darrell Evans

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Cloudy Eyes

I have broken,

Broken Your commands.

I see it now;

My eyes have been clouded with

Sin,

And I weep

Weep

Weep;

So evil,

So wretched,

So dark is my heart.

I am so sorry.

Hear my pleas for mercy once again

And be gracious-

Do not pass me by.

Teach me not to exhaust Your boundless grace.

I love You.

I love You.

Forgive my despicable behaviour.

Make me new

Again.

Replace my guilt with boldness,

Amen.

Faith Is

Faith looks different in every stage of life. It morphs and changes each day. Life keeps us on our toes as we try and figure out what today’s faith looks like.

Right now, my faith is…

Believing that a perfect chain of events has led me where I am today.

It is not my fault-or any fault at all.

It is a Divine conspiracy.

Right now-here-is the destination.

Something great is going to happen.

This is not a dead end.

It is only a  rocky start.

This is not a preview of all the sorrows and struggles that my life shall be made up of.

Faith is getting affirmation from a God I cannot see because He alone understands what is going on.